December 11, 1998

I met James Vidos, Berwick Housing Project manager, at the Berwick Post Office. He said, “Nina, I love to read your articles in The Daily Review!”

He said that he has read every one that I wrote. But the one that he liked most of all, and he started laughing again, was the one about when the mayor of Berwick and his cohorts went to get the garbage truck for the Town of Berwick.

Well, for the ones that missed this particular tale, I’m going to repeat it.

When Bernie Driskill was mayor, the town ordered a new garbage truck. The truck couldn’t be shipped so they had to go and drive it home. So, they set out to go to Oshkosh, Wisc., to get it. Those that went to get it included Bernie Driskill, mayor; Eddie Miller, maintenance man; and J.C. Thomas, city engineer.

Eddie Miller was the driver and Eddie loved his toddies. J.C. sat in the middle and Bernie sat on the opposite end. Coming down main street in Oshkosh, they were kind of weaving in the middle of the street. Eddie was feeling good with a few of his toddies “under his belt” and they were headed for home.

All of a sudden, a policeman saw the weaving truck and shut them down. Eddie stopped the truck and the policeman asked Edie where he was going with this garbage truck. Eddie said that he was going to Berwick. The policeman said, “Where in the h*?* is Berwick?” Eddie answered in his slow drawl, “Next to Morgan City.” The cop scratched his head and said, “Where in the h*?* is Morgan City?” Eddie said, “About 75 miles from New Orleans in the state of Louisiana!”

The cop asked Eddie what his business was in Berwick. Eddie told him that he was the maintenance man for the Town of Berwick. The cop looked at J.C., who was sitting in the middle, half asleep, and asked him him his business. J.C. yawned a couple of times and said, “I’m the city engineer in Berwick.” Then he looked at Bernie and said, sarcastically, and with spite, “I guess you are the Mayor of Berwick!” Bernie said, with that big grin of his, “I sure am!”

The cop, in bewilderment, looked at Eddie Miller, pointed his finger south and said, “Go that way and don’t look back!”

Remember when the ladies used to wear hats at Sunday Mass? Hats of all shapes and forms? Big hats with wide brims that you could never see over; small hats that resembled flower pots; and big, big hats that looked like a small pan turned upside down! Everyone wore hats, but not pants to church. How do you think a lady would look today all dressed up with pants on and wearing a hat? All the ladies used to look so nice when they were dressed with hats and dresses, gloves, and shoes which usually matched. The only bad thing about the hats was you could never see the priest because the larger hats obscured the view. I guess that’s why so many men went to sleep in church. It used to be so nice to say, “I wonder what I will wear to church today?” It always gives one such a good feeling to know that you look nice, especially when you go to church.

Remember, not so long ago, the zoot suit phase when all the young men used to wear suits with the pants tight at the ankles and baggy in the seat? Also, they would wear a long watch chain with the suit that was so long that you could use it for a jump rope. Today the boys wear street cleaners – pants that are two feet wide, dragging in the streets.

* The End *

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *