January 21, 2000

Gorilla meets soda jerk: A gorilla walked up to a soda fountain and ordered a chocolate ice cream soda. The attendant behind the counter was amazed to hear a gorilla speak, but brings the soda anyway.

the gorilla finished the soda and handed the attendant $10. The attendant doesn’t think that the gorilla knows anything about money, so he gives the gorilla $1 back in change. “Hope you enjoyed the soda; we don’t get too many gorillas around here,” the attendant said. “At $9 a soda,” said the gorilla, “it’s no wonder.”


Remember when you were young and believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Rabbit. Little Red Riding Hood and the rest of the Disney characters? Wouldn’t it be nice if you believed in that again, after you are past 80 years old?

Just think how nice your old age would be. At night you could sleep with your Teddy Bear.


Amelia is a small community about nine miles from Morgan City. The local trains used to stop in Amelia and the train crew had time to dash across the tracks and order food to go from a greasy-spoon diner, run by a not-too-clean man and his scruff son.

One day, the engineer dashed in to find the proprietor picking his nose and his son scratching his dirty head. They said “What’ll you have?” The engineer responded, “Two hard-boiled eggs and a coconut – something you can’t get your darn hands into.”


Remember Henry Blanchard from Pierre Part? He was 108 years old, worked hard all his life – and was healthy as a horse. He said he smoked cigarettes for 100 years – 2 packs every day.

Somehow, the tobacco company in Virginia saw that on the Internet and immediately they got in tough with Henry. They asked Henry if he would appear on television. They told Henry that they would pay him well, because smoking for 100 years and still active is good advertisement for the tobacco industry.

Henry said, “OK” – so, they told Henry that he would have to talk on television at 10 o’clock in the morning about his smoking for 100 years and still feeling healthy as a horse.

Well, Henry started thinking and said to the tobacco people that he couldn’t start talking at 10 o’clock in the morning because he didn’t stop coughing until 2 o’clock in the afternoon!

* The End *