March 3, 2000

Why do some people with big feet always try to wear small shoes? If you have five toes, you should wear a wide shoe. Tight shoes cause bunions and corns. I knew some people who always wore tight shoes – and with their toes on top of each other. When you buy new shoes, always try them on in the evening, the time when your feet are the flattest.

When you get older, your feet have a tendency to get wider. When I was a young man, I wore size 11 shoes. Today, I still wear size 11. So you see I haven’t aged much.

My wife, she likes her shoes big on the inside and small on the outside.


It’s so easy to make a mistake. I’ll never forget the time when my wife Ruth and I went to the mall in Houma to shop.

When we got through shopping, we went to our car and there was a large dirty-looking man sleeping in the car. I told Ruth to go to the mall and tell the security guard. The security guard called the police and they went to the car and made the man get out. The man started talking, but the police said, “shut up.” They handcuffed him and took him away.

Then we got into the car and the key didn’t fit – the car was not mine. It belonged to the man who the police had taken away. My car was the same make and color of his. I made a mistake. I told Ruth, “Let’s get out of here because the policemen might not like the mistake we made.”

Hats in Variety

Did you know that if the manufacturers of ladies hats made 5,000 hats, that none would be styled the same?

Now there are some people who always wore the same type of hat like:

– Minnie Pearl, a straw hat with the tag dangling on it.
– W.C. Fields, a white, high-top hat.
– Garth Brooks, a black western-style hat.
– Clint Walker, a Tennessee coon-tail hat.
– Maurice Chevalier, a stiff straw hat.
– Ted Lewis, a shiny black top hat with a dent in the middle.
– Charlie Chaplin, a derby
– Gary Grant, a flat top dress hat.
– Ben Gump (cartoon character), a small tin cup on his head.
– John Folse, a high white cook hat.
– Arafat, a panoramic bonnet that only looks good on any kind of hog.

Well, myself, I have never owned or wore a hat or cap. I guess that’s why I have a lot of wavy hair.


The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves!

* The End *

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