November 26, 1999

I’m not saying that my wife is a bad cook, but my doctor advised me to eat out more often.


A baked potato will cook in about half the usual time if you boil it for 5 minutes before you put it in the oven to bake.


What is the ugliest animal that you have ever seen? When I was in Alaska, I saw a musk-ok which is a huge, ugly and mean-looking animal. When a baby musk-ok is born and sees its mother for the first time, they take off as their mother actually scares them off with their looks. Underneath their stomach is a fur that is very expensive. They make shawls that cost up to $200 apiece. That’s the only animal that I ever saw that is uglier than a laughing hyena.


They now have a new perfume that drives women crazy. It smells like money.


Bricks: Remember a long time ago the old folks use to scrub their porches with wet bricks instead of soap? They really looked clean and shining. And all the old homes had brick fireplaces to keep you warm. You stand in the front of the fire and your face gets hot – and then you turn around and your rear end gets too hot.

At one time, during the late 1800s, we had a brickyard in Berwick. It was located in the neighborhood where the Berwick Thrif-T-Way Drug Store is.


I remember the time when I was manager of the Ber Theatre that my children attendance was down on Tuesday nights. So I put a sign in front of the theatre announcing that any child who brought three bricks would get a free pass to the show. I had kids by the hundreds bringing in bricks. Then I started getting phone calls by people calling me up at the theatre telling me that the kids were stealing bricks out of their flower beds, side walks, and barbecue pits. In my yard today, I have three brick patios, a winding brick sidewalk, a brick barbecue pit, as well as my brick fireplace – all made from those bricks. Later, some kid told me he got some of those bricks off an old grave. So, now I know hwy I see ghostly figures in my yard at night.

Every year, I go to the cemetery on All Saints Day to put flowers and pray for my family. It seemed like it was only yesterday when we were all together as one big happy family.

Then, I usually walk by a few graves and see some of my old buddies and people who I was raised with and knew. It’s hard to believe that so many of my friends are gone.

I walk through the mausoleum and see the places where my two traveling buddies are: my brother, “Baby” and Tarville Davis. I told them both that I also had a plot in the mausoleum and when I pass away, they are going to put me in there with them. And, then “Boy, are we going to have a ball – we are going to wake up the dead.”

* The End *

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