Going to a party with your wife is like going fishing with the game warden.
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My wife had cooked me so many TV dinners that when I don’t feel well, I call the TV repairman.
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I met Qunita Patterson in the store a while back. She was surprised to see me. She told me how much she enjoys my column in The Daily Review. Qunita was always a beautiful girl and very friendly. Thanks Qunita – keep reading.
I turned away from Qunita and bumped into Verna Vinning. She also said she just loved to read my column “Recollections.” She says that she laughs so much; that my columns are so different from other writers. Thank you, Verna.
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I know a lovely home in Country Club that has three swimming pools – hot, cold and empty. The empty one is for people who can’t swim.
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An embarrassing moment is spitting out of a car window when it is not open.
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Do you believe in ghosts? When I was a little boy years ago, I use to believe in things like the Blue Bonnet Man who carried a hatchet. Also, the Axe Man who walks at night with an axe was another belief I had.
In those days, there were very few street lights. I would leave the picture show at night alone – it was dare, and I would run all the way home – shaking. Every time I would pass the graveyard at night, I could always see something in the graveyard moving – and brother, I went to moving.
They say that dead people don’t hurt you, but they make you hurt yourself.
When I had my liquor store in the ’70s, there was a man who I knew well in Berwick. He came in one day and said: “Hi, Nina, how are you?” I was shocked; I thought he died 40 years ago. In fact, I went to his wake. So I remembered now that his casket was not opened. I believe that he and the undertaker were in cahoots about something.
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My wife believes in sharing the wealth. She shares ours with all kinds of stores.
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My wife ain’t the greatest cook in the world. One day, she told me that she wanted to go to a place that she’s never been. I told her: “That’s fine; why don’t you try the kitchen.”
You all heard of blackened red fish? That ain’t nothing new. I’ve been eating blackened eggs for 40 years.
* The End *