September 17, 1999

Bah-dah-boom.

I would never buy an encyclopedia — my wife knows everything.

Most hospitals have the recovery room in the wrong place — it should be near the cashier’s office!

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Do you sleep well at night? Young people are so fortunate — they always seem to get a good night’s sleep. Young people go to bed early or late. Of course, they have nothing to worry about. They sleep sound until after nine or 10 a.m. the next day. They find breakfast all ready on the table. What a life!

But as you grow older, you sleep sporadically. You have so many things on your mind, not to mention responsibilities. At night, about six o’clock, you sit down to enjoy the news and other programs that you like, and before you know it, you are so tired and exhausted that you go sound asleep with your mouth wide open! After three or four naps, you decide to go to bed, where you roll around for about half an hour before you fall asleep.

Well, in the next three hours, you have to “tee-tee,” so you get up and wobble to the bathroom. You take another little nap in the bathroom and wobble back to bed. Three hours pass by and you go through this same procedure again, only now it’s four o’clock in the morning — “tee-tee” and wobble time again!

So you see, old people are on the move all night. Then you wake up early to get the kids ready for school. Your back is hurting, arthritis in your hands and legs, feeling dizzy and sick because of lack of sleep, and a busy day ahead.

So you see, there is no sleep for the “weary!”

Solution: Don’t get old!

I met a couple from Bayou Vista who used to live in Berwick years ago. They were so surprised to see me, and that I was well and still getting around. I told them that since I’m over 59 years old. I am not as active as I use to be. Some days I am as alert and as busy as a “bee,” and on other days, I wake up dizzy, tired and wobbly.

The other night, I woke up at two o’clock to go to the bathroom. At the foot of my bed, I have a reclining chair that swivels completely around. When I got to the recliner, I put my hands on the back of the chair and I went round and round, and the recliner finally faced me back toward my bed. I laid down again, thinking that I had been to the bathroom, when in reality, I had dozed off for about five minutes. I woke up again and still had to go to the bathroom. I said to myself, “Three hours sure went by fast!”

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My wife can deep a secret until she meets another woman.

* The End *

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